Three important points:
1. When you are faced with a conflict, there are many good books available to help you. She recommended books by William Ury, Bruce Patton, Robert Bramson and Muriel Soloman.
2. Prepare, Prepare, Prepare: Effectiveness in handling conflicts is similar to effectiveness in presentations and conversations. You should think about what you want (to get something, to present your point of view, to change behavior) and what the other person/people want (to gain or evaluate information, to get something, etc). Think about who has what kind of authority in a situation, and keep in mind there is legitimate authority (dept chair, Dean, supervisor) and moral authority (fairness, doing what is right). How will you approach this conflict: do you want to be collaborative or confrontational?
3. Does it have to be you who handles the situation?
The discussion focused on dealing with difficult people and the best ways to handle difficult situations. Some of the strategies discussed were to appeal to fairness or appeal to data (if you want me to do this, it will cost $X and/or take me X hours). Documentation is very important. You can write a letter to yourself in a sealed envelope and mail it to establish the date of something. You can also write a polite, thoughtful letter to the offender, focusing on the facts, your feelings and a suggested remedy ("This is what I think happened. This is what I feel about what happened. This is what I would like to happen now."). Anonymous letters can also work if they are polite, professional, civil and factual. A third party, such as an ombudsperson, can use a generic approach. The third party may approach a department chair and say s/he'd like to come in to the department for a discussion about ethical behavior, and then use 'laundered' cases for the discussion. Dr. Rowe stated that in her experience this works quite often, according to people who have reported back to her office.
More resources are available at: http://web.mit.edu/ombud/sh_resources.html